Becoming Alexis - Part Four
Court Order Day!
Today was the day that I got my name change order from the San Francisco Superior Court! I picked up four copies of the order because I know I have so many things to update. I was actually in court representing clients in the morning for a restraining order hearing, but I realized that my court order was ready! I definitely, definitely wasn’t refreshing the webpage repeatedly over the last week since the moment my court order could have been signed. I would never do that.
On a related note, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that this is happening at the same time as I’m transitioning my name and gender presentation, I’ve been recently exploring my identity as a person on the autism spectrum and in neurodivergence generally. This is something I’ve long considered, but recently it hit me like a ton of bricks that this is very much a part of who I am. My psychiatrist agreed. Like my gender and sexuality, I was the very last person in my world to know about my neurodivergence. Funny how that works.
I cried this morning at the window in the Records Department. The guy behind the counter thought I was nuts, which, honestly, is true. I went directly across the street from the courthouse to City Hall, where I attempted to do my first update, my marriage certificate, since I was also legally married in San Francisco (even though longtime friends will note that our wedding was in the East Bay). However, there were additional steps and documents needed that I didn’t have on me. I’ll just have to go back.
After I got back to my office and sent the permanent restraining orders to my clients, I immediately started on the next steps. I was born in California, so I filled out the birth certificate application form that I routinely fill out for clients. In 2022, I updated the gender marker on my birth certificate to Nonbinary, so I am very familiar with the process. I’ll write a future blog post about the many details of birth certificate applications, of which I’ve rather become an expert over the last few years. Birth certificates are the most commonly rejected applications relating to name changes, so doing this application correctly is key. This is why I typically do these applications with and/or for my clients, and even I mess them up still occasionally.
As I often tell my clients, birth certificate updates are generally stand-alone. In other words, if you have a copy of your original birth certificate at home, you do not need to wait for your new birth certificate to arrive to update everything else on the list. This is a good thing, because the State of California routinely takes eight or nine months to send you your new birth certificate in the mail. So, I might have it by my next birthday… in April.
Tomorrow, I plan to go to the Social Security office. I’m also making an appointment for the DMV, which is always a necessity. My autistic brain is simultaneously telling me to take this one step at a time, and also frequently referring back to the spreadsheet I made detailing all of the steps I would need to take, and also figuring out how to do all of the tasks at the same time and as quickly as possible.
It's been a long day, capped by a lovely dinner with two new friends. And at least some part of every day for the foreseeable future will contain something name-change-related.